1
\nI happened to come to a village.
\nIf I had not been on horseback I would never have thought of going through there.
\nThere was a festival.
\nThere were no tourists.
\nHowever, there was a white man.
\nHe spoke to me in my language.
\n\"Do you have anything to read?\" he asked me in an impatient tone.
\nI said no. He made a gesture of weariness and walked away.
<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbrow_inner\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\u00a0\u00bb3_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_image src=\u00a0\u00bbhttps:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/EFHB3.jpg\u00a0\u00bb title_text=\u00a0\u00bbEFHB3″ show_in_lightbox=\u00a0\u00bbon\u00a0\u00bb align_tablet=\u00a0\u00bbcenter\u00a0\u00bb align_phone=\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0\u00bb align_last_edited=\u00a0\u00bbon|desktop\u00a0\u00bb admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbImage\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.27.0″ animation_style=\u00a0\u00bbslide\u00a0\u00bb animation_direction=\u00a0\u00bbleft\u00a0\u00bb animation_duration=\u00a0\u00bb500ms\u00a0\u00bb animation_intensity_slide=\u00a0\u00bb10%\u00a0\u00bb sticky=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb use_border_color=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb border_color=\u00a0\u00bb#ffffff\u00a0\u00bb border_width=\u00a0\u00bb1px\u00a0\u00bb border_style=\u00a0\u00bbsolid\u00a0\u00bb always_center_on_mobile=\u00a0\u00bbon\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbrow_inner\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb0px|0px|26.1094px|0px\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\u00a0\u00bb3_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_text admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbTexte\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.27.0″ background_size=\u00a0\u00bbinitial\u00a0\u00bb background_position=\u00a0\u00bbtop_left\u00a0\u00bb background_repeat=\u00a0\u00bbrepeat\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|46px||||\u00a0\u00bb use_border_color=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb border_style=\u00a0\u00bbsolid\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb]
2
\nHe had a straw hat and a dirty T-shirt.
\nHe had spotted me from afar and had approached me quickly, roughly pushing the villagers aside.
\nThis abruptness had worried me. I had thought I saw an aggressive vagabond in him, perhaps a thief.
\nBut he stopped three meters from me and asked me this question, speaking in my language: \"Do you have something to read?\"
\nThe request was so urgent that I was sorry for my answer: \"No, I'm sorry.\" He immediately turned away with a slightly contemptuous gesture that I understood as an injunction to return to where I had come from.
\nHe split the crowd in the other direction and disappeared.
\nI remained pensive. I would have liked to help this lost man. I had refused the buoy to a castaway.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbrow_inner\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\u00a0\u00bb3_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_image src=\u00a0\u00bbhttps:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/EFHC1.jpg\u00a0\u00bb title_text=\u00a0\u00bbEFHC1″ show_in_lightbox=\u00a0\u00bbon\u00a0\u00bb align_tablet=\u00a0\u00bbcenter\u00a0\u00bb align_phone=\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0\u00bb align_last_edited=\u00a0\u00bbon|desktop\u00a0\u00bb admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbImage\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.27.0″ animation_style=\u00a0\u00bbslide\u00a0\u00bb animation_direction=\u00a0\u00bbleft\u00a0\u00bb animation_duration=\u00a0\u00bb500ms\u00a0\u00bb animation_intensity_slide=\u00a0\u00bb10%\u00a0\u00bb sticky=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb use_border_color=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb border_color=\u00a0\u00bb#ffffff\u00a0\u00bb border_width=\u00a0\u00bb1px\u00a0\u00bb border_style=\u00a0\u00bbsolid\u00a0\u00bb always_center_on_mobile=\u00a0\u00bbon\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbrow_inner\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\u00a0\u00bb3_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_text admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbTexte\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ background_size=\u00a0\u00bbinitial\u00a0\u00bb background_position=\u00a0\u00bbtop_left\u00a0\u00bb background_repeat=\u00a0\u00bbrepeat\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|52px||||\u00a0\u00bb use_border_color=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb border_style=\u00a0\u00bbsolid\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb]
3
I rented a horse from a one-eyed man. On horseback, it's easier to get lost in the landscape. You can get away from the roads, you think. But eventually the fear of getting lost in the stranger, however fascinating, takes over and you end up on a trail. This is how I arrived in a remote village. I left the horse at the entrance to the main street. People were everywhere. Boys dressed as devils, little girls in satin-white dresses, candy vendors, women busily preparing for the evening feast. I was the only white person there, but I wasn't an intruder because I was so transparent. One man noticed me. He was the only one who looked like me. The same age, blond and white too. Haggard, he reminded me of a slightly mad vagrant. He came towards me quickly. I was a little frightened. I think I even recoiled. I remember thinking for a long time that he was taller than me. Now I'm not so sure. Now I think that's what I was afraid of: not his vagabond air or his brusque manner, but his resemblance to me, his inexplicable familiarity. I thought I saw myself, just for a moment. How did he know my language?
\"Do you have something to read?\"
He had the attitude of someone who recognized me. From where? From when?<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbrow_inner\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\u00a0\u00bb3_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_image src=\u00a0\u00bbhttps:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/EFHD11.jpg\u00a0\u00bb title_text=\u00a0\u00bbEFHD11″ show_in_lightbox=\u00a0\u00bbon\u00a0\u00bb align_tablet=\u00a0\u00bbcenter\u00a0\u00bb align_phone=\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0\u00bb align_last_edited=\u00a0\u00bbon|desktop\u00a0\u00bb admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbImage\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.27.0″ animation_style=\u00a0\u00bbslide\u00a0\u00bb animation_direction=\u00a0\u00bbleft\u00a0\u00bb animation_duration=\u00a0\u00bb500ms\u00a0\u00bb animation_intensity_slide=\u00a0\u00bb10%\u00a0\u00bb sticky=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb use_border_color=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb border_color=\u00a0\u00bb#ffffff\u00a0\u00bb border_width=\u00a0\u00bb1px\u00a0\u00bb border_style=\u00a0\u00bbsolid\u00a0\u00bb always_center_on_mobile=\u00a0\u00bbon\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbrow_inner\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_margin=\u00a0\u00bb|-56px||||\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb1px|0px|26.1094px|0px\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\u00a0\u00bb3_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_text admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbTexte\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.27.0″ background_size=\u00a0\u00bbinitial\u00a0\u00bb background_position=\u00a0\u00bbtop_left\u00a0\u00bb background_repeat=\u00a0\u00bbrepeat\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|0px||||\u00a0\u00bb use_border_color=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb border_style=\u00a0\u00bbsolid\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb]
4
I had taken a horse for the day.
I well remember taking a horse for the day.<\/p>\n
I'd rented it from a one-eyed man whose cloudy, yellow eye remnant didn't inspire confidence. Equally disturbing was his expression, at once indifferent and penetrated. A mystic, I thought, or a drug addict, or both. In any case, the horse had both eyes and a good head. The beast was obviously well cared for. This made me reconsider my judgment of his master, who won the case.<\/p>\n
As I write this I am finally no longer sure that my desire to go on horseback was prior to my encounter with the one-eyed man. I think I felt the sudden need to lose myself in this fascinating landscape, and the horse was a means of doing so at little cost. The animals always recognize the path to the manger.
I set off on the road, giving him a wide rein. After a few hours of riding he brought me to a village. I left him at the entrance, at the bottom of the hill, and entered the main street on foot. I remember a party in preparation. All the inhabitants were outside. A vagabond spoke to me. I don't remember the rest and I miss it. Did something happen to me?
I don't remember seeing the one-eyed man again. What did I do with the horse? I don't remember giving it back, and forgetting it makes me feel guilty. Someone you were responsible for and left behind. This feeling overwhelms me enough to justify going back there to get rid of it. I won't find the horse, but at least I'll have done something. Unless this feeling is linked to the anxiety caused by the lack. This piece of memory that's missing. It's inexplicable. Three days, three months, three years. The lack remains the same. The lack of memory, or of something else. Perhaps the landscape, this landscape. I miss the stranger. I reread my notes, I retrace my life since that story, and it becomes clear: the lack of the stranger makes me a stranger in my life.
A wanderer.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbrow_inner\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\u00a0\u00bb3_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_image src=\u00a0\u00bbhttps:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/EFHD7.jpg\u00a0\u00bb title_text=\u00a0\u00bbEFHD7″ show_in_lightbox=\u00a0\u00bbon\u00a0\u00bb align_tablet=\u00a0\u00bbcenter\u00a0\u00bb align_phone=\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0\u00bb align_last_edited=\u00a0\u00bbon|desktop\u00a0\u00bb admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbImage\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.27.0″ animation_style=\u00a0\u00bbslide\u00a0\u00bb animation_direction=\u00a0\u00bbleft\u00a0\u00bb animation_duration=\u00a0\u00bb500ms\u00a0\u00bb animation_intensity_slide=\u00a0\u00bb10%\u00a0\u00bb sticky=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb use_border_color=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb border_color=\u00a0\u00bb#ffffff\u00a0\u00bb border_width=\u00a0\u00bb1px\u00a0\u00bb border_style=\u00a0\u00bbsolid\u00a0\u00bb always_center_on_mobile=\u00a0\u00bbon\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbrow_inner\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb0px|0px|26.1094px|0px\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\u00a0\u00bb3_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_text admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbTexte\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ background_size=\u00a0\u00bbinitial\u00a0\u00bb background_position=\u00a0\u00bbtop_left\u00a0\u00bb background_repeat=\u00a0\u00bbrepeat\u00a0\u00bb use_border_color=\u00a0\u00bboff\u00a0\u00bb border_style=\u00a0\u00bbsolid\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb]
5
In the three years there were the three months, and in the three months there were the three days. These times included each other and everything stayed the same. There is no time. There is only one time. That of the landscape. The time of the journey can be counted, but not the time of the landscape. I sensed this and it made me dizzy. Perhaps by losing myself, I wanted to abstract myself from time. And that's exactly what happened. I can no longer tear myself away from this fascination for the foreign, for the landscape. I just stand there. The sensation, the vertigo of no longer existing for anyone gives me an inextinguishable exaltation.
I know I began to no longer exist for anyone, to give in to this vertigo, to this drug, as soon as I abandoned the idea of returning the horse to the one-eyed man, as soon as I abandoned the horse. When you give up on others, you give up on yourself. I knew that.
I didn't think I wanted to lose myself so badly. When I come out of my contemplation to try and explain my fascination with the landscape, my arguments become more complex and obscure the deeper I dig. At the same time, that's all I want to talk about. That's why I don't talk to anyone.
I want to be left alone. Anything that reminds me of the past, of a time other than the landscape, hurts me. There's always this stupid attachment to I don't know what origin that makes me suffer. My mother tongue tortures me. I wish I'd never been born. A part of me stubbornly clings to a life from before when I'd like not to be, to melt away, not to be a stranger or a total stranger, but in any case to be outside time. In the time of stones and sky. To be everything and nothing, but especially not a man.
Yet I can't help it. There's the urge to return to the familiar, to speak, to remember. I hate this weakness in me. It's this weakness that tortures me.
Only once did I meet a stranger who looked like me.
I asked him if he had anything to read, something from where I came from. Something that would bring me closer to where I came from, to him.
I had one hand on my knife. If he'd said \"yes\", I'd have killed him, and by killing him I'd finally have been able to kill this weakness inside me that tortures me.
But he said \"no, sorry\".
He couldn't imagine the reasons for my disappointment. I left him.
He'll be back one day. He'll have made his arrangements and I'll kill him.<\/p>\r[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=\u00a0\u00bb1_4″ _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ custom_padding=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb custom_padding__hover=\u00a0\u00bb|||\u00a0\u00bb][et_pb_sidebar orientation=\u00a0\u00bbright\u00a0\u00bb area=\u00a0\u00bbet_pb_widget_area_6″ admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbSidebar\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ header_font_size=\u00a0\u00bb18px\u00a0\u00bb header_line_height=\u00a0\u00bb1.2em\u00a0\u00bb body_font_size=\u00a0\u00bb13px\u00a0\u00bb body_line_height=\u00a0\u00bb1.1em\u00a0\u00bb body_line_height_tablet=\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0\u00bb body_line_height_phone=\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0\u00bb body_line_height_last_edited=\u00a0\u00bbon|desktop\u00a0\u00bb saved_tabs=\u00a0\u00bball\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][\/et_pb_sidebar][et_pb_sidebar orientation=\u00a0\u00bbright\u00a0\u00bb area=\u00a0\u00bbet_pb_widget_area_7″ admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbBarre lat\u00e9rale\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ header_font_size=\u00a0\u00bb16px\u00a0\u00bb header_line_height=\u00a0\u00bb1.2em\u00a0\u00bb body_line_height=\u00a0\u00bb1.1em\u00a0\u00bb header_line_height_tablet=\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0\u00bb header_line_height_phone=\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0\u00bb header_line_height_last_edited=\u00a0\u00bbon|desktop\u00a0\u00bb saved_tabs=\u00a0\u00bball\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][\/et_pb_sidebar][et_pb_sidebar orientation=\u00a0\u00bbright\u00a0\u00bb area=\u00a0\u00bbet_pb_widget_area_8″ admin_label=\u00a0\u00bbBarre lat\u00e9rale\u00a0\u00bb _builder_version=\u00a0\u00bb4.16″ header_font_size=\u00a0\u00bb16px\u00a0\u00bb header_line_height=\u00a0\u00bb1.1em\u00a0\u00bb body_line_height=\u00a0\u00bb1.1em\u00a0\u00bb saved_tabs=\u00a0\u00bball\u00a0\u00bb global_colors_info=\u00a0\u00bb{}\u00a0\u00bb][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section]","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Travel story in the abyss, five images, five texts.
Computer processing on specific software.\nCotton paper prints 45*90 cm and texts.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3527,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=\"1\" fullwidth=\"on\" admin_label=\"section\" _builder_version=\"3.22\" background_color=\"rgba(46,163,242,0)\" custom_padding=\"0px|0px|0px|0px\" transparent_background=\"off\" make_fullwidth=\"off\" use_custom_width=\"off\" width_unit=\"off\" custom_width_px=\"1080px\" custom_width_percent=\"80%\"][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=\"Chaman\" subhead=\"5 tirages papier coton 45*90 cm et textes. Traitement informatique sur logiciel sp\u00e9cifique.\" content_max_width=\"none\" admin_label=\"Fullwidth Header\" _builder_version=\"3.16\" title_text_color=\"#828282\" title_font_size=\"27px\" background_color=\"rgba(255, 255, 255, 0)\" background_layout=\"light\" button_one_letter_spacing_hover=\"0\" button_two_letter_spacing_hover=\"0\" button_one_text_size__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_two_text_size__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_one_text_color__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_two_text_color__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_one_border_width__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_two_border_width__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_one_border_color__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_two_border_color__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_one_border_radius__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_two_border_radius__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_one_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=\"on\" button_one_letter_spacing__hover=\"0\" button_two_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=\"on\" button_two_letter_spacing__hover=\"0\" button_one_bg_color__hover_enabled=\"off\" button_two_bg_color__hover_enabled=\"off\"][\/et_pb_fullwidth_header][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=\"1\" specialty=\"on\" admin_label=\"section\" _builder_version=\"3.22\" custom_padding=\"5px|0px|45.2656px|0px\" transparent_background=\"off\" make_fullwidth=\"off\" use_custom_width=\"off\" width_unit=\"off\" custom_width_px=\"1080px\" custom_width_percent=\"80%\"][et_pb_column type=\"3_4\" specialty_columns=\"3\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_image src=\"http:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/EFH3.jpg\" show_in_lightbox=\"on\" align_tablet=\"center\" align_last_edited=\"on|desktop\" admin_label=\"Image\" _builder_version=\"3.23\" animation_style=\"slide\" animation_direction=\"left\" animation_duration=\"500ms\" animation_intensity_slide=\"10%\" sticky=\"off\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_color=\"#ffffff\" border_width=\"1px\" border_style=\"solid\" always_center_on_mobile=\"on\"][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=\"Text\" _builder_version=\"3.27.4\" text_line_height=\"1.5em\" background_size=\"initial\" background_position=\"top_left\" background_repeat=\"repeat\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_style=\"solid\"]
1
Je suis arriv\u00e9 par hasard dans un village.
Si je n'avais \u00e9t\u00e9 \u00e0 cheval je n'aurai jamais eu l'id\u00e9e de passer par l\u00e0.
Il y avait une f\u00eate.
Il n'y avait aucun touriste.
Cependant il y avait un homme blanc.
Il s'est adress\u00e9 \u00e0 moi dans ma langue.
\"Est-ce que vous avez quelque chose \u00e0 lire ?\" m'a-t-il dit sur un ton impatient.
J'ai r\u00e9pondu n\u00e9gativement. Il a eu un geste de lassitude et s'est \u00e9loign\u00e9.<\/p>\r\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_image src=\"http:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/EFHB3.jpg\" show_in_lightbox=\"on\" align_tablet=\"center\" align_last_edited=\"on|desktop\" admin_label=\"Image\" _builder_version=\"3.23\" animation_style=\"slide\" animation_direction=\"left\" animation_duration=\"500ms\" animation_intensity_slide=\"10%\" sticky=\"off\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_color=\"#ffffff\" border_width=\"1px\" border_style=\"solid\" always_center_on_mobile=\"on\"][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"0px|0px|26.1094px|0px\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_text admin_label=\"Texte\" _builder_version=\"3.27.4\" background_size=\"initial\" background_position=\"top_left\" background_repeat=\"repeat\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_style=\"solid\"]
2
Il avait un chapeau de paille et un T-shirt sale.
Il m'avait rep\u00e9r\u00e9 de loin et s'\u00e9tait approch\u00e9 de moi rapidement en \u00e9cartant sans m\u00e9nagement les villageois.
Cette brusquerie m'avait inqui\u00e9t\u00e9. J'avais cru voir en lui un vagabond agressif, peut-\u00eatre un voleur.
Mais il s'arr\u00eata \u00e0 trois m\u00e8tre de moi et me lan\u00e7a cette question, en s'exprimant dans ma langue: \"Vous avez quelque chose \u00e0 lire ?\"
La demande \u00e9tait si pressante que j'ai \u00e9t\u00e9 d\u00e9sol\u00e9 de ma r\u00e9ponse: \"Non, je regrette\". Aussit\u00f4t il se d\u00e9tourna avec un geste un peu m\u00e9prisant que je compris comme une injonction \u00e0 retourner d'o\u00f9 je venais.
Il fendit la foule dans l'autre sens et disparut.
Je restais pensif. J'aurais voulu aider cet homme perdu. J'avais refus\u00e9 la bou\u00e9e \u00e0 un naufrag\u00e9.<\/p>\r\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_image src=\"http:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/EFHC1.jpg\" show_in_lightbox=\"on\" align_tablet=\"center\" align_last_edited=\"on|desktop\" admin_label=\"Image\" _builder_version=\"3.23\" animation_style=\"slide\" animation_direction=\"left\" animation_duration=\"500ms\" animation_intensity_slide=\"10%\" sticky=\"off\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_color=\"#ffffff\" border_width=\"1px\" border_style=\"solid\" always_center_on_mobile=\"on\"][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_text admin_label=\"Texte\" _builder_version=\"3.27.4\" background_size=\"initial\" background_position=\"top_left\" background_repeat=\"repeat\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_style=\"solid\"]
3
J'avais lou\u00e9 un cheval \u00e0 un borgne. A cheval, il est plus facile de se perdre dans le paysage. On peut s'\u00e9loigner des routes, pense-t-on. Mais finalement la crainte de se perdre dans l'\u00e9tranger, aussi fascinant soit-il, reprend le dessus et on se retrouve finalement sur un sentier. C'est ainsi que je suis arriv\u00e9 dans un village isol\u00e9. J'ai laiss\u00e9 le cheval \u00e0 l'entr\u00e9e de la rue principale. Il y avait du monde partout. Des gar\u00e7ons d\u00e9guis\u00e9s en diable, des petites filles en robes blanches satin\u00e9es, des marchands de friandises, des femmes qui s'affairaient aux pr\u00e9paratifs de la f\u00eate du soir. J'\u00e9tais le seul blanc, sans \u00eatre pour autant un intrus tant j'\u00e9tais transparent. Un homme me remarqua. C'\u00e9tait le seul qui me ressemblait. Du m\u00eame \u00e2ge, blond et blanc lui aussi. Hagard, il me fit penser \u00e0 un vagabond un peu fou. Il est venu vers moi rapidement. J'ai eu un peu peur. Je crois m\u00eame avoir eu un mouvement de recul. Je me souviens avoir longtemps cru qu'il \u00e9tait plus grand que moi. Maintenant je n'en suis plus tr\u00e8s s\u00fbr. Maintenant je crois que c'est de cela dont j'ai eu peur : non pas de son air de vagabond ou de ses mani\u00e8res brusques, mais de sa ressemblance avec moi, de son inexplicable familiarit\u00e9. J'ai cru me voir, un court instant. Comment connaissait-il ma langue ?
\"Vous avez quelque chose \u00e0 lire ?\"
Il a eu l'attitude de quelqu'un qui me reconnaissait. D'o\u00f9 ? De quand ?<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_image src=\"http:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/EFHD11.jpg\" show_in_lightbox=\"on\" align_tablet=\"center\" align_last_edited=\"on|desktop\" admin_label=\"Image\" _builder_version=\"3.23\" animation_style=\"slide\" animation_direction=\"left\" animation_duration=\"500ms\" animation_intensity_slide=\"10%\" sticky=\"off\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_color=\"#ffffff\" border_width=\"1px\" border_style=\"solid\" always_center_on_mobile=\"on\"][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"1px|0px|26.1094px|0px\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_text admin_label=\"Texte\" _builder_version=\"3.27.4\" background_size=\"initial\" background_position=\"top_left\" background_repeat=\"repeat\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_style=\"solid\"]
4
J'avais pris un cheval pour la journée.
Je me souviens bien avoir pris un cheval pour la journée.
Je l'avais loué à un borgne dont le reliquat oculaire, trouble et jaune, ne m'inspirait pas confiance. Tout aussi inquiétante était son expression à la fois indifférente et pénétrée. Un mystique, m'étais-je dit, ou un drogué, ou les deux. Quoi qu'il en soit, le cheval avait ses deux yeux et une bonne tête. La bête était visiblement bien soignée. Ceci me fit réviser mon jugement sur son maître et ce dernier remporta l'affaire.
Lorsque j'écris ceci je ne suis finalement plus sûr que mon souhait de partir à cheval ait été antérieur à ma rencontre avec le borgne. Je crois que j'ai ressenti le besoin soudain de me perdre dans ce fascinant paysage, et le cheval était un moyen de le faire à peu de frais. Les animaux reconnaissent toujours le chemin de la mangeoire.
J'ai pris la route en lui laissant la bride large. Après quelques heures de ballade il m'amena à un village. Je le laissais à l'entrée, en bas de la colline, et pénétrais à pied dans la grande rue. Je me souviens d'une fête en préparation. Tous les habitants étaient dehors. Un vagabond m'a adressé la parole. Je ne me souviens plus du reste et cela me manque. M'est-il arrivé quelque chose ?
Je ne me souviens pas avoir revu le borgne. Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait du cheval ? Je ne me souviens pas l'avoir rendu et cet oubli provoque chez moi un sentiment de culpabilité. Quelqu'un dont vous étiez responsable et que vous avez laissé. Ce sentiment m'accable suffisamment pour justifier que je retourne là-bas, afin de m'en débarrasser. Je ne retrouverai pas le cheval, mais j'aurai au moins fait quelque chose. À moins que ce sentiment soit lié à l'anxiété provoquée par le manque. Ce bout de mémoire qui me manque. C'est inexplicable. Trois jours, trois mois, trois ans. Le manque reste le même. Le manque de mémoire, ou d'autre chose. Peut-être le paysage, ce paysage. L'étranger me manque. Je relis mes notes, je refait le déroulement de ma vie depuis cette histoire et ce constat s'impose: le manque de l'étranger fait de moi un étranger dans ma vie.
Un vagabond.<\/p>\r\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_image src=\"http:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/EFHD7.jpg\" show_in_lightbox=\"on\" align_tablet=\"center\" align_last_edited=\"on|desktop\" admin_label=\"Image\" _builder_version=\"3.23\" animation_style=\"slide\" animation_direction=\"left\" animation_duration=\"500ms\" animation_intensity_slide=\"10%\" sticky=\"off\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_color=\"#ffffff\" border_width=\"1px\" border_style=\"solid\" always_center_on_mobile=\"on\"][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=\"row_inner\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"0px|0px|26.1094px|0px\"][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=\"3_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_text admin_label=\"Texte\" _builder_version=\"3.27.4\" background_size=\"initial\" background_position=\"top_left\" background_repeat=\"repeat\" use_border_color=\"off\" border_style=\"solid\"]
5
Dans les trois ans il y avait les trois mois, et dans les trois mois il y avait les trois jours. Ces temps se sont inclus les un dans les autres et tout est rest\u00e9 pareil. Il n'y a pas de temps. Il n'y a qu'un temps. Celui du paysage. Le temps du voyage peut se compter, pas celui du paysage. J'avais senti cela et \u00e7a me donnais le vertige. Peut-\u00eatre qu'en me perdant, je voulais m'abstraire du temps. C'est bien ce qui est arriv\u00e9. Je ne peux plus m'arracher a cette fascination pour l'\u00e9tranger, pour le paysage. Je reste l\u00e0. La sensation, le vertige de ne plus exister pour personne me procure une exaltation inextinguible.
Je sais que j'ai commenc\u00e9 a ne plus exister pour personne, \u00e0 c\u00e9der a ce vertige, \u00e0 cette drogue, d\u00e9s lors que j'ai abandonn\u00e9 l'id\u00e9e de rendre le cheval au borgne, d\u00e9s lors que j'ai abandonn\u00e9 le cheval. Lorsque l'on abandonne les autres, on s'abandonne soit m\u00eame. Je le savais bien.
Je ne pensais pas vouloir me perdre \u00e0 ce point. Lorsque je sort de ma contemplation pour essayer de m'expliquer ma fascination pour le paysage, mes arguments se complexifient et s'obscurcissent au fur et \u00e0 mesure que je les creuse. En m\u00eame temps je n'ai envie de parler que de \u00e7a. C'est pour cela que je ne parle plus \u00e0 personne.
Je veux que l'on me laisse tranquille. Tout ce qui m'\u00e9voque le pass\u00e9, un autre temps que celui du paysage, me blesse.
Il y a en moi, toujours, ce stupide attachement a je ne sais quelle origine qui me fait souffrir. Ma langue maternelle me torture. Je voudrais ne pas \u00eatre n\u00e9. Une part de moi s'accroche obstin\u00e9ment \u00e0 une vie d'avant alors que je voudrais ne plus \u00eatre, me fondre, ne plus \u00eatre \u00e9tranger ou l'\u00eatre totalement mais en tout cas \u00eatre en dehors du temps. Dans le temps des pierres et du ciel. \u00catre tout et rien mais surtout pas un homme.
Pourtant c'est plus fort que moi. Il y a l'envie de retourner vers le familier, de parler, de se souvenir. Je hais cette faiblesse en moi. C'est cette faiblesse qui me torture.
Une seule fois j'ai crois\u00e9 un \u00e9tranger qui me ressemblait.
Je lui ai demand\u00e9 s'il avait quelque chose \u00e0 lire, quelque chose qui vienne de l\u00e0 d'o\u00f9 je viens. Quelque chose qui me rapproche de mon origine, de lui.
J'avais une main sur mon couteau. Si il m'avait dit \"oui\", je l'aurai tu\u00e9 et en le tuant j'aurai enfin pu tuer cette faiblesse qui est en moi et qui me torture.
Mais il m'a dit \"non, d\u00e9sol\u00e9\".
Il n'imaginait pas les raisons de ma d\u00e9ception. Je l'ai laiss\u00e9.
Il reviendra un jour. Il aura pris ses dispositions et je le tuerai.<\/p>\r\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=\"1_4\" _builder_version=\"3.25\" custom_padding=\"|||\" custom_padding__hover=\"|||\"][et_pb_sidebar orientation=\"right\" area=\"et_pb_widget_area_6\" admin_label=\"Sidebar\" _builder_version=\"3.0.74\" header_font_size=\"18px\" header_line_height=\"1.2em\" body_font_size=\"13px\" body_line_height=\"1.1em\" body_line_height_tablet=\"\" body_line_height_phone=\"\" body_line_height_last_edited=\"on|desktop\" saved_tabs=\"all\"][\/et_pb_sidebar][et_pb_sidebar orientation=\"right\" area=\"et_pb_widget_area_7\" admin_label=\"Barre lat\u00e9rale\" _builder_version=\"3.0.74\" header_font_size=\"16px\" header_line_height=\"1.2em\" body_line_height=\"1.1em\" header_line_height_tablet=\"\" header_line_height_phone=\"\" header_line_height_last_edited=\"on|desktop\" saved_tabs=\"all\"][\/et_pb_sidebar][et_pb_sidebar orientation=\"right\" area=\"et_pb_widget_area_8\" admin_label=\"Barre lat\u00e9rale\" _builder_version=\"3.0.74\" header_font_size=\"16px\" header_line_height=\"1.1em\" body_line_height=\"1.1em\" saved_tabs=\"all\"][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section]\n","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[51,22,23,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-51","category-chronologie","category-narrations","category-travaux-graphiques"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3157"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3157\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3167,"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3157\/revisions\/3167"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3527"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ericvernhes.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}